There Aint no Sanity Clause

Good to see that nothing gets past the forensic skills of our Victorian boys in blue.

2012-01-06T17:21:00.000+11:00

Declan off to a quick start in 2012

2012-01-04T05:59:00.001+11:00

Colour me facially haired confused.

2011-10-07T17:39:00.005+11:00

A GROUP of Amish men is being investigated for allegedly breaking into Ohio family homes and chopping their victims' hair and beards off, The Wheeling Intelligencer reports.

The Amish hair-cutting gang is being investigated by four different sheriff departments in Ohio. They face charges of burglary and felonious assault.

The group refers to itself as part of the Bergholz clan, a nearby Amish community led by bishop Sam Mullet, which was the subject of a disputed child custody raid in 2007 amid allegations of sexual abuse.

The spate of attacks began around three weeks ago and targeted other Amish community members, the newspaper said.

One of the victims in Holmes County described how the gang of between 20 to 30 men dragged him from his house by his beard.

Holmes County sheriff Timothy Zimmerly told reporters the victims also included a 13-year-old girl and a 74-year-old man.

I've heard of bearded ladies being trotted out by Barnum and Bailey, but I thought they were somewhat older than 13. Most 13 year old boys would be pushing to disport facial hair.

This is a bit of a worry.

2011-10-03T14:08:00.008+11:00

A picture clipped from a newspaper article about the problematic nature of some nudie, well intentioned fundraising calendars.

Being too revealing - or challenging comfortable gender stereotypes - seemed to put people offside, Dr Turton-Turner said. "I'm not telling people what they should or shouldn't do. I'm trying to highlight what's going on beyond the surface layer - that the calendars are not as innocent as they seem," she said.

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/gallery-0-1111120166843

Declan at the Age is obviously having a very mad Monday.

2011-09-26T07:59:00.000+10:00

Freudian typo.

2011-09-26T07:37:00.000+10:00

Pardon me while I go outside and vomit.

2011-09-23T13:46:00.003+10:00

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2011-09-23/christian-schools-changing-the-national-anthem/2939594

Explosive typo.

2011-09-21T13:54:00.000+10:00

Errrm?!

2011-09-18T09:03:00.000+10:00

Constructing a Heritage Zone?!

Why chiropodists make a squill.

2011-09-18T08:26:00.001+10:00

Well may you say reduce your risk of cancer, but nothing will save your Achilles.

ET tu Declan?

2011-09-17T08:42:00.000+10:00

Not quite sure how the very worthy Healesville Sanctuary goes about saving from extinction a species that never existed.

I want Roberta to be my character witness.

2011-09-13T12:23:00.002+10:00

Roberta Williams told the jury her drug-dealing former husband Carl - who was jailed in 2007 for life with a 35-year minimum after he pleaded guilty to four murders and one conspiracy to murder - was ''the most placid, quiet person I have ever come across''.

No files on our Declan.

2011-09-02T08:05:00.002+10:00

No files on our Declan.

2011-09-02T08:05:00.000+10:00

Who can you believe to ... C'mon Tony, you DO have 'form'.

2011-08-28T14:33:00.002+10:00

TONY Abbott's office has rejected a claim by Independent MP Tony Windsor that the opposition leader told him the only thing he would not do to become prime minister was "sell his a---".

In a series of interviews with independent MPs to mark the anniversary of their decision to back Labor in a minority government, Mr Windsor says he felt alarm and pity when Mr Abbott revealed how deeply he wanted the job of prime minister.
"I remember him saying 'Tony, I would do anything for this job. The only thing I wouldn't do is sell my arse, but I'd have to give serious thought to it'," Mr Windsor told Fairfax media.
A spokesman for Mr Abbott said: "Tony did not make that comment".
Mr Abbott has said his scripted remarks could be taken as "gospel truth" but, "in the heat of discussion you go a little bit further".
Abbott also has long-term form in struggling with the truth in interviews. In 1998, he — commendably — undertook a personal mission to destroy One Nation, partly by funding a disgruntled member, Terry Sharples, in legal action. Trouble was, he later denied to the ABC ever funding Sharples — a blatant lie he was sprung on in 2003. Then there was his curious denial of meeting George Pell during the 2004 election campaign, until Tony Jones jogged his memory and Abbott suddenly recalled that he’d met him the previous week.

Huh?!

2011-08-13T08:21:00.000+10:00

Hypocrisy comes in all colours - including pink it would seem.

2011-08-09T12:15:00.000+10:00

http://www.smh.com.au/federal-election/married-to-the-mob-20100726-10r77.html
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2011-08-09/penny-wong2c-partner-expecting-first-child/2831018

Many as slip twixt headline and text, but that's News Corp's default approach to journalism.

2011-08-06T08:42:00.000+10:00

(Click image to enlarge.)

Serial offender.

2011-07-16T10:55:00.001+10:00

"I thought it was minor."
Much like the size of my IQ.

The syntax challenged Declan strikes again.

2011-07-11T18:55:00.003+10:00

Where the hell were the Victorian court's security guards?!

Errr derrr!

2011-07-06T15:21:00.002+10:00

"Neighbours are horrified to learn a woman's death went unnoticed in inner Sydney for up to eight years."

What wonderful caring sharing neighbours. Caring sharing neighbours who should really shut the fark up in the face of reporters lest they might appear to be seriously disingenuous geese.

Let's hope Hawkie prefers to get his news from the ABC rather than the Hun.

2011-06-22T08:38:00.000+10:00

Hypocrisy, the first refuge of the political scoundrel.

2011-06-17T09:05:00.000+10:00

(Click image to enlarge.)
This surely isn't THIS Justin Madden.http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/heat-on-madden-over-windsor-hotel-sham-20100226-p670.html

Seperated at birth.

2011-06-17T08:27:00.000+10:00

Evidence of why the Fairfax press is a shadow of its former self and why Rupert will always cream it.

2011-05-04T15:40:00.000+10:00

(Click image to enlarge.)

Yeah right Fairfax Media CEO Greg Hywood.

2011-05-03T16:07:00.001+10:00

Unions say Fairfax staff are "shocked and angry" over a management decision to outsource the subediting of its news, business and sports reports.
"Certainly the editing for The Age will be done in Melbourne and the editing for the Sydney Morning Herald will be done in Sydney," he said.
"We've had tremendous feedback on the quality of work we've produced for Fairfax up to this point. Obviously that underpins the growing relationship we enjoyed with them."
http://governor_general.blogspot.com/search/label/Declan%20at%20The%20Age.
I rest my case (and those of the Fairfuxup staff) Mr Hywood.!!!

Declan sets Moshe an impossible task.

2011-04-29T07:11:00.001+10:00

One of Moshe's two "brothers" happens to be the world champion mare, Black Caviar.Go you good thing Declan, the agenda bender.

Crimestoppers.

2011-04-24T17:41:00.001+10:00

Yep, I know who he is. He's related to one of those court artists. Those people who failed Year 12 art, but still got a job.

And who said the eunuchy was passé?

2011-04-22T13:11:00.000+10:00

"Prince Charles has become the longest-serving heir apparent in British history, having waited to take over from Queen Elizabeth II for 59 years, two months and 14 days."

Making a pig's arse out of a silk's purse.

2011-04-20T09:13:00.003+10:00

And Peter Faris wants to paint Mokbel as some kind of philanthropist?! WTF!

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2011/04/20/3196328.htm?section=justin

ABC Online News keeps lowering the bar.

2011-04-04T11:50:00.000+10:00

ABC Online News down on their uppers - again.

2011-04-02T20:21:00.006+11:00

Posted 48 minutes ago | Updated 36 minutes ago ERRRR - NOT UPDATED - NOW 'CORRECTED'.

Just when I thought the ABC's online news reporting couldn't get any more naff.

2011-04-01T16:13:00.000+11:00

A picture's worth a thousand WTFs.

The Grand Pricks.

2011-03-27T16:43:00.001+11:00

What makes me think that both the Monkey and the Organ Grinder have serious problems with their common (VERY common!) choice of hair stylists?

To think I ever doubted Mr Rabbit's judgment and his capacity to assume the role of Prime Minister.

2011-03-23T17:42:00.000+11:00

... and now a word from ClubsAustralia straight from Mandy Rice-Davies' book of notable quotes.

2011-03-23T16:41:00.000+11:00

Pokie limits 'will impact whole economy'

Posted 1 hour 37 minutes ago

ClubsAustralia has warned the Federal Government's new controls over poker machines will hit the economy hard.

The supposedly opposed unopposed Opposition leaders.

2011-03-23T12:24:00.000+11:00

Colour me outraged!

2011-03-20T07:30:00.004+11:00

A 43-year-old female volunteer was struck by shotgun pellets by 14-year-old boy, legally possessing a duck hunting gun licence.

Not good enough!!

The legal age for holding a gun licence ought to be reduced to 10. It should be an unalienable right of passage for all children who reach double figures.

The age of volunteers who can can be legally shot during duck hunting season should to be raised to 90.

Balancing these changes would be the introduction of a bag limit of 10 volunteers per day with a total limit of 100 for the duration of the 12-week duck hunting season. This would ensure the sustainable and responsible preservation of the volunteer population for shooters in future seasons.
All hunters between the ages of 10 and 14 would be required to sit and successfully pass a Volunteer Identification Test by law before they hunt volunteers in Victoria, meaning they are able to identify the correct targets.

"The volunteer-hunting tradition in Victoria is of great cultural importance. When visiting hunting camps, I often see three generations of the same family together. Only last week I caught up with old Grandpa 'One-eye' Garfknuckle, his son 'Blind' Billy-Jo-Bob and his grandson 'Shaky' Jayson." - Seth Roadknight, President of the Society for the Rehabilitation of Visually Challenged Duck Hunters and Collectors.

UPDATE. A man duck shooting at Cohuna, north of Melbourne, suffered severe injuries to his hand, in particular his thumb, after his gun exploded. He was flown to the Royal Melbourne Hospital. Unconfirmed reports have been received that the plane conveying the wounded shooter to hospital was shot at by several hunters who mistook it for a group of volunteers who had provocatively disguised themselves as a flock of freckled ducks.

MIA.

2011-03-20T05:15:00.000+11:00

Catastrophically and apostrophically challenged Aussies.

2011-03-16T13:50:00.001+11:00

(Click image to enlarge.)

Thank you Declan. Thank you bald buoys, but surely you meant properganderist.

2011-03-11T20:16:00.000+11:00

(Click image to enlarge.)

What a sadly pathetic old broadshite newspaper.

2011-03-05T15:15:00.004+11:00

No! Not just like old times. Back in those old times The Age was a serious, if stodgy at times, journal of record, not a mongrel dog of a publication fathered by a rabid tabloid and mothered by an O week or Prosh week spoof newspaper.

Declan.

2011-02-27T09:07:00.000+11:00

(Click image to enlarge.)

One of Declan's finest.

2011-02-17T08:16:00.000+11:00

Gotta love Telstra.

2011-01-20T06:00:00.000+11:00

(Click images to enlarge.)

Please contact my agent, he'll tell you we're perfeck parents wot would never put our child on the stage Mrs Worthington.

2011-01-19T17:12:00.007+11:00

"There's no business like show business

Like no business I knowEverything about it is appealingEverything that traffic will allowNowhere could you get that happy feelingWhen you are stealing that extra bow ... "

(Click image to enlarge.)

I'll have run with the lot.

2011-01-04T08:46:00.001+11:00

Is there any better proof that the meeja is in full on silly season mode?

2010-12-30T11:54:00.010+11:00

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/national/dna-tests-to-determine-if-skull-belongs-to-ned-kelly-or-jack-the-ripper/story-e6frf7l6-1225978531486

Rang wrung wrong.

2010-12-22T08:06:00.001+11:00

Declan makes Liz Hurley's apology even more harrowing.

2010-12-16T14:29:00.001+11:00

Oprah could fade away to a shadow according to that fine journal of record, "Woman's Day".

2010-12-14T11:19:00.001+11:00

Dammit, she's the amazing shrinking woman!

Two reasons why Julia Thatcher has lost my vote.

2010-12-11T08:21:00.001+11:00

“I absolutely condemn the placement of this information on the WikiLeaks website. It is a grossly irresponsible thing to do and an illegal thing to do.”

Jeez, I'm so proud to be an Australian sycophantic brown noser - albeit for a short time only.

2010-12-10T17:20:00.002+11:00

FLANKED by Prime Minister Julia Gillard and Premier Ted Baillieu, Oprah Winfrey finally took the stage at Federation Square at 4pm as several thousand of her fans screamed in delight.

“Hello Melbourne, looking good Melbourne,” she said to her adoring public.

“I have to say, I have not seen a welcome like this in my whole life.

“Do you guys all go to charms school? Everyone is so darn nice.”

By 4.16pm, Oprah was gone.

Suppurated at birth.

2010-12-09T14:32:00.000+11:00

Everything old is new again.

2010-12-09T10:45:00.002+11:00

Declan goes into bat for Australia.

2010-12-07T12:37:00.002+11:00

(Click image to enlarge.)

I'd have to say that, for once, Declan is deliberately taking the pist.

2010-11-25T12:33:00.003+11:00

"Give me a child at the age of seven and I will give you the schoolie," - St Xavier of Kew.

2010-11-23T08:57:00.003+11:00

Top Melbourne school linked to Byron Bay schoolies brawl

The stoush saw Melbourne schoolies involved in fighting on Saturday night, leaving one youth bloodied.

A school insider said the three pictured on the front page of the Herald Sun yesterday had been well behaved.

“They are not the kids you really expect it from,” the source said. “They pay big money to get educated at (the school). It’s more like a public school thing.”

More than 10,000 schoolies – many from eastern suburbs private schools including Scotch College, St Kevin’s Toorak, Xavier College and Lauriston Girls School – stocked up on alcohol when they arrived in Byron Bay to celebrate the end of their school years.

Up to 50 teenagers – including Victorians – kicked, stamped, punched and tackled during the fight on the NSW town’s Main Beach.

Police are investigating the confrontation, which ran over a 100m stretch of sand.

Xavier College acting principal John Hickey said the school had no responsibility for year 12 students’ behaviour once they finished school.

Oh yes, acting principal John Hickey, your school’s education programs have so obviously imbued your students with such a fine sense of community values, social skills and self discipline that when they leave Xavier they leave as model citizens, so why should the school be burdened with any responsibility for their behavior?

April 14, 2007 – NEW footage of Xavier students being forced to fight as others watched and cheered has emerged.

It is believed one of the students bullied was the same one pushed and kicked in a wheelie bin.

The video shows the 15-year-old trying to back away from another student, inside a ring of others screaming at them to fight. It is believed the footage was taken in mid-2005.

Xavier principal Chris McCabe said there were incidents in 2005 and 2006, but the school had since addressed bullying “and by and large that has been successful. The incidents are not prevalent any more”.

Oct 21 2008 – Students of Xavier College in Kew are accused of jumping on cars and frightening residents in the prosperous inner-east suburb.

One woman, identified only as Chris, said she saw two students wearing Xavier socks jumping on her car roof and bonnet, while others cheered around them.

Police estimated damage to the car at $5,000 and said criminal damage charges could be laid if the culprits were found.

Oct 16, 2009 – Xavier College principal Chris Hayes told reporters nine students had been suspended for throwing water bombs and eggs from cars as part of an end of year prank.

Emerging Sydney Swans talent Dan Hannebery was confirmed as one of the suspended Xavier year 12 students.

The students have been banned from the school until the end of classes next week but will be able to sit their VCE exams.

Mon Jul 19, 2010 – The 16 boys from Xavier College at Kew in Melbourne’s east were in Queenstown as part of a school skiing trip.

It is alleged they stole ski clothing and souvenirs worth around $5,000 from at least seven different shops in Queenstown.

The boys, aged between 14 and 17, were let off with a warning by police, but their details have been passed on to immigration authorities.

Xavier College principal Dr Chris Hayes says the school has taken the matter very seriously. “We are very disappointed at this regrettable action by these boys, from our point of view and their parents’ point of view, we’re quite gutted by their actions,” he said. “We’re going to be discussing with them why this has taken place because from their parents’ point of view, from the college’s point of view, we’re just wondering what would have led to this sort of madness.”

October 20, 2010 – About 100 students were involved in the march at 8.30am (AEDT), most of them were from Xavier although at least two schools were involved.

Despite the police escort, twice during the march students illegally lit flares, on one occasion leaving it near parked cars, holding up traffic and putting pedestrians at risk, said Boroondara Police Leading Senior Constable Brett Phillips.

The students are unlikely to face charges but police have asked the school to investigate, he said.

Well done Xavier.

“They are not the kids you really expect it from,” the source said. “They pay big money to get educated at (the school). It’s more like a public school thing.”

Money well spent chaps. Pity the parents of those ruffians at public/government schools don’t have enough money spend on their children to produce fine upstanding Xavierian model citizens.

Well, there ya go.

2010-11-20T06:51:00.001+11:00

I haven't had a fully fledged gut wrenching explosive vomit for quite some time -

2010-11-18T12:53:00.000+11:00

but this did the trick.

... and I guess they're gonna breed the next generation of parasites. The Windsors as locusts.

2010-11-17T11:09:00.004+11:00

Ms Bryce issued a statement this morning calling the wedding “a unifying time of much joy and celebration,”

“I am sure that Australians look forward with anticipation and excitement to hearing of your wedding preparations as they unfold,” she said.

“And, naturally, we will take immense pleasure in welcoming you both on the occasion of your first visit to Australia together some time in the future.

“Your Royal Highness, your announcement has warmed our nation’s heart.”

Sorry Governor General Kylie, this little black republican's heart doesn't warm to this at all and certainly doesn't share your very presumptuous, effusive and unctuous excitement.

I now await with bartered breath for John Brumby's announcement that he has brokered 'a cheap for half the price', $80 million tourism boosting deal with Bernie Ecclestone which provides Will and Kate with an all expenses paid honeymoon in the Oprah Winfrey Suite at the Caroline Springs Best Western Motel.

Kristina Kenneally meets Mandy Rice-Davies meets Robespierre meets Leon Uris.

2010-11-14T18:07:00.008+11:00

"New South Wales Premier Kristina Keneally says the exodus of Labor MPs from the parliament ahead of the next election is just what she ordered."

... and she's telling us that she had control over the rats leaving sinking shrinking ship?!

Apart from me and the rest of the world, who else is sniggering into their knickers?

Declan's typo for once gets it right. (What is it with golfers?)

2010-11-13T19:13:00.008+11:00

Marring :-'impair the quality of', 'to make imperfect', 'to spoil'. (Hat tip to daughter who is also on Declan watch.)

Two dicks separated at birf.

2010-11-12T12:30:00.001+11:00

Sport, the first and last refuge of the scoundrel wannabe populist politician facing an election.

2010-11-12T10:16:00.001+11:00

"PREMIER John Brumby has thrown his support behind a bid to rename the Junction Oval in St Kilda after Shane Warne."

When will it ever end? When will sports jocks ever learn?

2010-11-04T21:05:00.009+11:00

So, he's sorry for the photo of him, not for the lewd act?!

And of course it's not Joel we hear being remorseful. It's his manager telling us he's remorseful and embarrassed. His manager is no doubt more embarrassed by the possibility of many dollars being lost by dint of this disgusting act.

Sorry, Mr. Manager no amount of third party $pin will excuse this "Mad Monday prank".

Prank?!

Never thought I'd see the day when I'd ever accuse a politician of hypocrisy.

2010-11-03T10:31:00.000+11:00

PREMIER John Brumby said the bank’s decision to raise rates above the RBA hike was “appalling” and would place unnecessary pressure on Victorian businesses and homeowners.

“This is nothing more than unmitigated greed,” Mr Brumby said.

“I am utterly dismayed at this sort of mercenary behaviour by the banking sector.”

Mmmm. Surely not this non mercenary, outraged friend of the home buyer, John Brumby!

STRUGGLING home buyers in Victoria have been slugged more than $3.6 billion by John Brumby’s Labor Government in just 12 months as his tax take on property soars.

Figures released yesterday reveal the stamp duty increased by $800 million last year.

When Labor took power 11 years ago the annual tax was worth $1 billion.

It's sure your money Ralph. (However much it really is.)

2010-10-26T16:43:00.006+11:00

CBA chief tells of high funding costs.

The chief executive of the Commonwealth Bank (CBA) has told the company’s annual general meeting the bank’s funding costs remain high.

His comments come despite warnings from the Federal Treasurer and the competition regulator about so-called “price signalling”.

The banks have been flagging their intention to lift interest rates above any Reserve Bank move, and there are concerns they are sending signals to their competitors and may be bordering on anti-competitive behaviour.

But Ralph Norris has reiterated that new global regulations and the ramifications of the crisis have made funds more expensive.

“The net result is that funding costs are now significantly higher than they were prior to the GFC, and this is likely to remain an issue for all banks in the short term,” he said.

Perhaps, Mr Norris, the following might have contributed to some of the onerous CBA costs you are bleating about.

At today’s general meeting, Mr Turner broke down the terms into their individual elements that showed in take-home pay Mr Norris actually received less than in 2010 than in the previous year.

Over the 12 months to June 30, he received a base salary $2.9 million and cash and long-term benefits of almost $6.2 million, which took his total pay to $9.1 million. That compares to the $10 million package that was awarded to him for the corresponding period in 2009.

But then there was this report over a month ago. Creative accounting by Mr. Turner?

For the umpty twelfth year we went to the Cox Plate.

2010-10-23T20:56:00.011+11:00

In So You Think we saw possibly one of the best horses ever to win the Plate, however the Age reporter (and part time arithmetical genius) Will Brodie (aka Declan's identical twin brother) has spotted in So You Think's curriculum vitae a statistic which is way beyond the comprehension of a mere mortal racegoer.

(For the record, So You Think's 7th win today was at his TENTH start. No idea where Will saw the horse's 7 wins and 9 placings.)

I'm John Brumby and I've just found out that gays are allowed to vote. Trust me!

2010-10-23T10:19:00.003+11:00

Labor’s bold play to win ‘pink vote’
Farrah Tomazin
October 23, 2010

LAWS against homophobia will be strengthened and the rights of same same-sex couples to adopt children will be reconsidered if Labor wins next month’s state election.

What are the odds that, after the election, the master of setting up dodgy inquiries and community consultation, Justin Madden will in charge of this process?

In a pitch for the ‘’pink vote’’, Premier John Brumby has also promised to give the gay community a greater say (See again the above mention of Justin Madden.) in shaping government policy, improve the rights of couples to have overseas or interstate marriages recognised in Victoria, and provide more funding to stamp out homophobia in schools.

Advocacy groups yesterday described the policy as the most comprehensive gay reform package Labor has taken to a state election.

But Mr Brumby has stopped short of reversing his long-standing opposition to same-sex marriage, despite pressure from within his party and the fact it is a key issue for many voters, particularly in the inner city where the government is under threat from the Greens.

With just over five weeks before the poll, the government will today move to reassert its social justice credentials with a $2.5 million plan

Suddenly, five weeks before the poll, Brumbles throws $2.5 million at social justice issues. *THINKS* How much did this government pay for Tiger Woods to play in the Oz open? (Oh, only $1.5 million.) *THINKS* How much do Brumbles mob pour into Bernie Ecclestone's deep Grand Prix pockets? (Any advance on $50 million?) That just about says it all.

If the gay community swallows this crock and expects a return for their votes after the election there will be many tears before bedtime.

Senior Sgt. Declan reports on that incident at Airport West Shopping Centre.

2010-10-12T14:43:00.001+11:00

Declan, a single minded pluralist.

2010-10-10T12:26:00.003+11:00

It's no coincidence that Declan can't see the irony.

2010-10-02T07:47:00.001+10:00

(Click image to enlarge.)

Fancy that!!

2010-09-29T19:00:00.000+10:00

Sarah Murdoch, The Dirty Digger's daughter-in-law stuffs up and of course, to save Sarah from embarrassment, News Limited wouldn't capitalise on the event would it?

(Click image to enlarge.)

Raisin a small problem.

2010-09-19T12:00:00.002+10:00

"If a man's testicles are the size of a sultana he should see his doctor," Professor Rob McLachlan, director of Andrology Australia said.

... or "Ask not what the Xmas pudding can do for you. Ask what your dried fruits can do for the Xmas pudding."

http://news.brisbanetimes.com.au/national/testicle-size-really-is-what-matters-20070923-10dn.html?from=age_ft

Declan on secondment to the sports department.

2010-09-19T06:54:00.005+10:00

A fine testimonial for the efficacy (or not) of embalming fluid.

2010-08-30T12:34:00.002+10:00

Declan back on song.

2010-08-15T10:34:00.003+10:00

(Click image to enlarge.)

Source - which hopefully Declan will correct upon his return from the Red Cordial Abuse Clinic.

Post #1000. The string to the node broadband plan we had to have.

2010-08-11T13:36:00.002+10:00

Makes me proud to be an Orstrayan. But that's probably because I'm not one of those "n----rs" or "sandn----r terrorists".

2010-08-10T11:40:00.007+10:00

Magistrate rules 'n----r' not offensive to a reasonable person

Queensland - the state that brought us that other non cafe, non chardonnay and non socialist set member, Pauline Hanson. The state where some magistrates would seem to have a slippery grip on the term, "reasonable person".

Trust me, I'm somebody who needs to be trusted.

2010-08-01T18:59:00.001+10:00

"Premier John Brumby says he needs a few weeks of community consultation before deciding which of the Commission's recommendations to embrace."

Mmmm, guess John will put Justin Madden in charge of such community consultations.

Poor lad. To lose one eye is unfortunate. To lose another one - well, that's where our Declan steps in.

2010-07-21T13:59:00.005+10:00

(Click image to enlarge.)

Yer gotta give it to the Murduck press, it really knows how to do serious political analysis.

2010-06-26T19:10:00.005+10:00

"Voters easily prefer Ms Gillard on who would make a better PM, with 58 per cent compared with 32 per cent for Mr Abbott."

"The nationwide poll of 800 people also found more people would rather have a beer with her than Mr Abbott."

Stand by for News Limited coverage of St. Julia and the Mad Monk going head to head on the least best diet ripoffs.

Can we pass the hat around so the ABC can buy a better class of television camera?

2010-06-23T21:34:00.006+10:00

Plotter Faulks keeps a seriously low profile.

(Click image to enlarge.)

Upcoming programmes on Australian TV during the next decade.

2010-06-20T17:57:00.003+10:00

'Masterchef Underbelly- the Golden Mule.'

'Hey, Hey it's Masterchef.'

'So You Want to be a Masterchef.'

'Young Talent Masterchef.'

'A Current Masterchef Affair.'

'Sale of the Masterchef.'

'A Country Masterchef Practice '

'The Masterchef Price Is Right.'

'Masterchef 90210.'

'Everybody Loves Masterchef.'

'Queer Eye For The Straight Masterchef Guy.'

'That Was The Masterchef That Was.'

'Monty Python's Flying Masterchef.'

'Masterchef And Son.'

'Q and Masterchef.'

'The Naked Masterchef Show.'

'Masterchef You're Standing In It.'

Declan (Broguth to you by the letters all over the shoop) strikes again.

2010-06-10T16:41:00.005+10:00

(Click image to enlarge.)

The older you get, the more often these anniversaries occur.

2010-05-24T12:21:00.004+10:00

R.I.P. Our sister-in-Law Myra.

Bargains! 4 books for $2 courtesy of Moonee Ponds' Brotherhood of St. Lozza op shop..

2010-05-21T07:56:00.004+10:00

(Click image to enlarge.)

In Memoriam. 13 years ago today. A father in law remembered.

2010-05-14T13:18:00.004+10:00

(Click image to enlarge.)

Declan pedals a story fit to frighten the horses.

2010-05-14T09:59:00.002+10:00

(Click image to enlarge.)

On a cold May day in Ararat 40 years ago today.

2010-05-09T10:12:00.001+10:00

How often do you get to say "Who gives a flying fart" about two serial tossers at once?

2010-05-04T13:51:00.003+10:00

"NAOMI Campbell, supermodel, broke down in tears during an interview with Oprah Winfrey, revealing her shame over a series of high-profile rage attacks. "

A Portrait of a Blogger as an old Poet.

2010-04-14T17:57:00.004+10:00

In the new spirit of undisclosed referential creativity approved by the judges of the Wynne Prize, I have entered the Vincent Buckley Poetry Prize with following poem, "My Holland" which celebrates all that is Dutch.

"I love a fog bound country, a land of frozen lakes,
Of ragged windmill vanes, of bogs and flooding dykes.
I love her low horizons, I love her jewel-sea,
Her beauty and her waterways – the wide flat land for me!"

Some copy cats have nine lives - with prizes.

2010-04-14T09:14:00.015+10:00

Colin Hay gets done in court for nicking a couple of notes from "Kookaburra sits on an old gum tree".

OTOH Sam Leach wins the Wynne prize and has a raft of luminaries defending his unattributed *referencing*.

Double dutch: scandal rocks Wynne painting prize

And how does *referencing* of a 1660 Dutch painting in anyway fulfill this criteria. "According to the AGNSW, the Wynne Prize is "awarded to what the judges consider to be the best landscape painting of Australian scenery in oils or watercolours". It isn't even a *referencing* of an Australian landscape painting. I don't think there were that many Dutch daubers knocking out postcards of the great brown land girt by sea back in 1660.

It also seems that the Oz's national Arts Writer Michaela Boland was away on the day her school did Julia's grammar lessons.

"Leach, an emerging Australian artist recently compared with Brett Whiteley and William Dobell."

UPDATE. Having just read a unassailable defence by the artist I hereby withdraw anything which might be construed as being even mildly critical.

"Leach says the painting is not the same. For one thing, he says, his is a fifth the size of Pynacker's work. He has also removed a number of the original pastoral features of the painting and replaced them with something decidedly more contemporary."

Sam, a word from the wise. "When you find yourself in a hole or are found with your hand in a cookie jar, stop digging."

First the Poms lost the empire, then they lost their judgment. (Highly likely the silly buggers will give Gordon Brown the benefit of the doubt!?!?)

2010-04-01T20:33:00.004+11:00

POP star Kylie Minogue is the most powerful celebrity in Britain, a study by a U.K. market research firm Millward Brown revealed Thursday.

"The 10 most powerful celebrities were Minogue, Cole, Beckham, TV presenters Ant and Dec, actress Joanna Lumley, radio and TV presenter Terry Wogan, celebrity chef Jamie Oliver, Clooney, actor Sean Connery and actress Helen Mirren."

Declan strikes again.

2010-03-29T13:06:00.003+11:00

(Click image to enlarge.)

Why I regard the 'Herald Sun' (the stamping ground of Andrew Bolt) as an impeccable journal of record.

2010-03-15T13:27:00.009+11:00

(Click image to enlarge.)

... and let's go back to the sage words of John Hartigan (Chief Executive Officer of News Limited) telling us why we should believe publications like his own 'Herald Sun" rather than the inaccurate piffle on blogs.

"newspapers are not dead, and people will pay to read quality journalism that is "brilliantly written" and "professionally edited" : This is not the territory in which aggregator sites or amateur bloggers will do well. This is the natural terrain of the well-trained, professional, experienced, clever journalist."

There's a lot of it about.

2010-03-12T10:52:00.007+11:00

"ONE of the leading band members of Take That has come forward today and publicly admitted to having up to 10 affairs on his wife."

Now, courtesy of our very own Declan, we have infidelity married to identity theft.

(Click image to enlarge.)

Just who Emma Ferguson actually married to?!

Is there no end to this saga?

2010-03-12T10:17:00.004+11:00

Doppelgangbusters?

A Riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside a farce.

2010-03-09T12:29:00.005+11:00

A MAN who pleaded guilty to his 11th unlicensed driving charge believes his troubles began when he was stabbed in the back while having sex.

Peter Maxwell Riddle, 48, admitted to driving without a licence after cops caught him motoring along Palmerston’s Temple Terrace in a purple ute on October 7.

His defence lawyer Ambrith Abayasekara argued leniency for Riddle, saying his offending was sparked by a stabbing several years ago, which led to lengthy periods of unemployment, The Northern Territory News reports.

Mr Abayasekara did not go into further details of the knifing.

NT Supreme Court documents reveal Riddle was stabbed in the back while he was having sex and trying to organise a three-way orgy in November 2003.

Riddle was having intercourse with a woman in a caravan in Stuart Park, when he invited 19-year-old Terri Lee-Anne Roebuck – who was watching – to join in.

She then stabbed him in the back with a kitchen knife. Riddle paused in his sexual activity and noticed the knife sticking out of his back.

The sentencing remarks noted that Riddle, while he was trying to get the knife out of his back, “noticed … that the female with whom he’d been having intercourse had left”.

"while he was trying to get the knife out of his back, “noticed … that the female with whom he’d been having intercourse had left”.

???!!! Oh well, carry on regardless old chap.